1.1 FILLING YOUR CUP

This module is about making your self-care a fun and non-negotiable part of parenting. When your cup is full it is so much easier and more joyful to be there for your child. Getting to know and to connect with your child feels more like an exciting adventure rather than another responsibility on your list. 

What is the simplest, fastest, most reliable way to fill up your cup?

Take a few minutes to think about the things that help you to feel comfortable in your skin, to feel held and safe - write them down, make a mind map, vision board, doodle - whatever works for you.

If you would like to play with some more ideas, take the 5 love languages quiz to discover/remember your love language. It is easier to fill up your cup when your self-care relates to your love language. You'll find some self-care ideas for each love language below - read all five lists as most of the ideas cover more than one love language. Keep adding ideas to your notes as you go through the lists.

Physical Touch

  • Massage

  • Wrap up in a soft blanket

  • A spa day

  • A bath

  • Physical activity: swimming, running, walking...

  • Skincare routine

  • Eating food lovingly prepared by yourself or somebody else

Quality Time

  • Meditation

  • A hobby/crafts/creative expressions

  • Relaxation

  • Going out for a meal, movie, picnic, somewhere nice...

Words of Affirmation

  • Writing/thinking about what you like about yourself

  • Affirmations

  • Journalling

  • Mantras

Acts of Service

  • Therapy

  • Acts of kindness

  • Organising your diary

  • Cleaning

  • Asking for support

Gifts

  • Trips

  • Craft supplies

  • Clothes

  • Indulgences

  • Investing in yourself

(This list was collated from a variety of sources: conversations in the group, my own experience, Blessing Manifesting.)

 

Now we come to the most important bit: how would you like to fill up your cup this week? Choose at least one thing. Shall we call it a date with yourself?


Let's go over a few ideas, that will hopefully will help you to make it happen. I invite you to answer each question in your journal:

  • On my date with myself this week I would like to _________________

  • What can get in the way? Think about external circumstances and your feelings, thoughts and beliefs. Make a list of at least three things that could get in the way of your date. If you can't think of anything - sit with it for a bit and see what comes up.

  • What can I do about it? See if you can come up with some solutions to each of the possible obstacles/distractions.

  • Where can I let go of perfection and go with what’s workable at the moment? When my children were little, I was a single mum overwhelmed by all the things I had to keep track of. I remember grabbing an apple as we were rushing through the door in the morning, thinking to myself: 'Hey, that's better than no breakfast at all!'. Go with what's doable and enjoyable at the moment.

  • Who can help me and how? I believe that filling your cup is a shared responsibility. It's ok to want, need and to accept support. I know it is a tricky topic and if you are feeling a big eeeeeek! right now - you are not alone. Pay attention to that, let it be and trust that it will fall into place in the coming weeks. Also, having a date with yourself does not mean that you have to do it on your own. As long as you remember that it is about you and filling up your cup, doing it with somebody else could be even more fun and enjoyable.  What do you need?

    • Encouragement?

    • Somebody to look after your children? 

    • A cup-filling buddy?

  • When is a good time?

 

How do you feel about your plan? Come and tell us in the Emotional Security Lab group. All of it is welcome: let us know if you are struggling to choose something, to find the time and support or if you are loving it. You can even send us photos from your date!

 

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LOCATIONS

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Forest Row, East Sussex, UK

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