11.2. NEW WAYS
Invitation for this week
Think about a situation that tends to end up in a rupture or leaves you feeling deflated. For example, clearing up after dinner, starting and finishing homework, bedtime, leaving the house. Choose one particular situation that happened recently and have a conversation about it with your child:
Talk about your own experience of that situation: what you found difficult, how you would like things to be, what it is important to you about it, etc.
Ask your child how they experienced that situation: how they feel about it, what they like and don’t like about it, explore if what happens before or after influence how they experience that situation, etc.
If you both feel that approaching this situation differently could be a good thing, share ideas about what you could try. If you worry that your child will come up with some ideas that will be impossible to implement or you simply will not want to implement them, it’s ok. Listening to each other and coming up with solutions together is part of the learning. Think long term; put more emphasis of practicing the skill of having these conversations. If in the process you come up with a plan that you both are willing to try – even better.
If you come up with a plan, keep in mind that it usually takes time to practise and keep on tweaking your plan until it works and feels natural. Treat it is an ongoing conversation rather than a one-off.
As always, come and let us know how you are getting on in the group.