Leading and following is yet another balancing act and the more comfortable you are with either, the easier it is to find the balance that feels right in each situation. As with pretty much everything in this course, you will notice that there is no black and white, just leading or just following. We need to make those quite artificial distinctions to better understand the whole:


  • You might notice that there are situations when you are doing both: leading and following. For example if you are going to the shops with a toddler, you might be ok with stopping to inspect some stones, but you would not stray too far from your path. You are following the child’s time scale whilst being in charge of the route.

  • You might notice that sometimes you are fluidly moving between the two: you may need to be completely in charge when you have to leave the house in 5 minutes but then you notice that your child has a wobble and pause your preparations to give them a hug. You are fluidly moving between taking charge and following in response to your child's needs.


Invitations for this week

Notice what it is like for you to take charge and to follow your child's needs.

  • Choose a situation in which you would like to step more fully into either taking charge andr following. Ideally it would be something you do every day.

    • To explore taking charge you could focus on leaving the house, transitioning from play to dinner, etc. What do you notice as you are taking charge more? How does it feel to do that?

    • To explore following, you could focus on playing with your child, helping them to get dressed, comforting them when they are tired, etc. How does it feel to follow your child’s lead? 

  • How does your experience change as the week goes on? Does it get easier each time you do it?

  • Do you notice any changes in how your child responds to those situations?

Share what you noticed about taking charge and following in the group

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Forest Row, East Sussex

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