Relaxed and enjoyable mealtime

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could relax and enjoy the next mealtime with your child?

 

What would need to change for it to happen?

 

  • Maybe they would come to the table the first time you told them that the food was ready.

  • Maybe they would not be getting up and down every 5 minutes. 

  • Maybe they would willingly stay at the table until the mealtime is over.

  • Maybe they would be kinder with their comments about the food. 

  • Maybe they would treat the food with more appreciation and respect.

 

If you are exhausted by how mealtimes are now and relaxed and enjoyable mealtimes seem out of reach, I’m here to tell you that it is possible. 

The easiest way to get there is to shift the focus from managing children’s behaviour to looking at what this behaviour is telling us. What is underneath it, what is driving it?

Looking at it from an attachment perspective can help us find the answers. Most of the time, we meet our children’s attachment needs intuitively. We are guided by our sense of what feels good and helpful when we make our parenting decisions. We figure it out through trial and error.

 

If there are persistent challenging behaviour, you are finding yourself fighting the same battles again and again, chances are that it’s your child’s way of asking you for something they are not yet getting.

Relaxed and enjoyable mealtime is a 2-week programme that can help you discover what it could be. It is based on the following premises: 

 

  • We know from attachment research that children have 11 attachment needs. No more guesswork!

  • Every parent finds that meeting some of those needs comes easily, naturally and joyfully and meeting some of them requires more effort, intention and staying power. We all struggle with certain parts of parenting, and that’s ok.

  • Which needs are easy to meet and which require more effort is individual to every parent - we are all different. 

  • Children feel secure in the relationship with their parents when all 11 needs are met enough of the time. We don’t need to do it perfectly, but we do need to do it. 

  • When particular needs are not met, children let us know through their challenging behaviour. If we focus on managing the behaviour, it persists because the underlying need has not been met. When we realise what the child is asking for and meet that need, the behaviour usually resolves itself because the message has been received. 

Usually, meeting our children’s attachment needs happens outside of our awareness. We parent in a certain way because that’s how we do it. 

 

Relaxed and enjoyable mealtime programme is an opportunity to explore your unique attachment map and approach managing mealtimes in a more connected way. 

Relaxed and enjoyable mealtime consists of:
  • Detailed parent-child relationship questionnaire (about 1 hour). It will help you think about your relationship, and it will help me develop some ideas about where to pay the most attention in our work together. 

  • Clarity session (1 hour). We will review your questionnaire and choose one of the 11 attachment needs to focus on for the next two weeks. It could be something that you don’t find easy at the moment or even something that has been your relationship’s “blind spot” until now. 

  • Implementation (2 weeks). You will take the insights from the clarity session into your day to day parenting. You will observe how you meet that attachment need you decided to focus on and experiment with showing up slightly differently. It is essential to give it time because it will allow you to discover your way of doing it. Daily reflection is vital during this part of the process - I will support you via voice messages or email.

  • Integration session (1 hour). We will reflect on what you discovered during this process and how you can use it in your parenting going forward.

How it works
  • Getting started: book a free 30-minute initial consultation to ask any questions you might have and to get a sense of what it would be like to work together

  • Location: Online on Zoom or Forest Row, East Sussex, UK

  • Cost: £250

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Changing how you are showing up to meet an attachment need that was difficult until now can create a lasting ripple effect.

It can help you dissolve power struggles you might be caught in at the moment and connect with your child in a way that was not possible until now. It can help and go through your days with more ease and share more happiness with your child. 

And… did I mention relaxed and enjoyable mealtimes?