When siblings don’t get on, much of our time and energy can be spent arbitrating between them. It can feel like sorting out the same old argument again and again and again. If you can relate, I'd like to share two ideas about helping siblings get along that might be surprising and counterintuitive first:
Even though it might seem that siblings' arguments happen just between the two of them, how they feel connected (or not connected) with you, their parent, is playing an important part in this dynamic. When they feel connected with you, they feel more comfortable in their skin and have less need to pick on their sibling or feel less agitated by what they are doing.
When we talk about connecting with children, we might instantly think about one-to-one dates with our children, days out, etc... While all of that is nice, I would say that the "little and often" approach makes a much bigger difference. How we stay connected with each child when other family members are around, when we are busy managing everyday life is more important than occasional "quality time".
I go into more detail in the video below:
Here are a few links you might find helpful: