Parenting books talk all about pregnancy, birth, introducing solid foods and the terrible twos. They warn you about colic and sleepless nights. But now that your child is older, the complexity of parenting suddenly becomes more about handling difficult situations and big emotions than when to change a nappy.
It's natural to feel unsure as you watch your child grow up and grow in independence, making choices and decisions for themselves.
Watching your children go through challenges may lead you to reflect on some of the difficult moments you’ve faced yourself.
Maybe you are thinking about how you were parented and what you experienced growing up. Perhaps that's quite different between you and your partner. It can get even more complicated when neurodiversity is involved, and you are exploring your role and identity in this new place.
What it all means for your child and your relationship isn't always easy to understand. Even the most experienced therapists and parenting coaches will tell you that they faced difficulties within their own families.
And that's okay because if you're reading this now, then you probably know that there are sometimes moments when you feel underprepared for the challenge ahead.
And it's not your fault.
Life doesn’t prepare us for how much children change and how much support they need from us.
I like to think of challenging parenting situations as an opportunity, an invitation to strengthen our connection with our children.
My work with parents is about figuring out what steps will help to nurture your connection and reduce tension at home. It is about supporting you to be the secure base for your child, however little or big they may be right now. It's about understanding your relationship. Understanding why sometimes you feel pushed away when you really want to feel close and how you can find your way back to feeling connected again.
I am Una Archer. I am a mum, step mum and a founder of Help Your Child Thrive. I have been working with families since I graduated with my MSc in educational psychology in 2002 and have done further training on attachment, trauma, systemic practice and neuropsychology. I help parents navigate challenging situations in a calmer and more connected way and feel confident and empowered in their role as parents.
In my experience, time and energy invested into nurturing your relationship with your child are never wasted.
If you are wondering how any of this can help you, I invite you to book an initial consultation. I listen to what's happening for you and your family right now. I'll share how I understand it from the attachment perspective and what could be helpful going forward.